There were 3 chicks in my bed I didn't know when I got home. Now I know all of them. Biblically.
The mexican place next the the funeral home has dollar margaritas, our grandfather would want us to act on this... trust me i know.
He said he's gonna start calling me "Benny" because we're "friends with bennyfits"
She came in to my room half naked at 3am asking me if I had seen the movie balls deep 7
they shut off the water. shaving my legs with soda. that desperate.
I may be Daddy's little princess, but doesn't mean I can't be the blowjob queen.
Code red. She won't talk to me. Maybe it has something to do with her raccoon eyes. Perry said there was a brief moment of towel fighting until you passed out. Did you draw the turtle on my ass?
I'm not trying to alarm you guys, but I think I just swallowed a ketchup packet.
After she saw a msg in his phone from me that listed the reasons why I love his cock, I don't think I can deny fucking her ex.
I'm going to take a nap so I don't feel like a stripper sneezed in my mouth tomorrow morning at work.
Is being in jail an excusable absence?
She gave me a can of steel reserve to pour on myself in the shower
I have a tattoo that says Yolo. You should not have been asking my advice in the first place
Alright if I email the police department asking for my mug shot do you think they will email it to me
CURSE YOU AND YOUR SEXY LOGIC
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