Hi, this is ****, we hooked up a few weeks ago. I was wondering, do you have any STDs?
so thats when we found her crawling hands and knees up first street singing hold me closer tony danza as loud as she could
did she say where she was going
apparently she thought she was on morton hill and was trying to go back to the bars
I finally got laid.. you said it wouldn't happen.
Somehow ended up at a stranger's bridal shower. Everyone else is already drunk.
they're both coked to the gills having a shouting match about the powers and abilities of godzilla. and using the wikipedia entry on the topic to support their respective arguments.
Just saw out breathalyzer tubes from last night on the side of the road. Glad the cop let us know that they are biodegradable
They tried. Someone started to yell beer shower but he spun around and punched them in the mouth before they even finished saying beer. He's a fast little drunk.
Piecing together the sordid story from witness accounts and photographic evidence, courtesy of Fcebook. My night included Mojitos, lighting the bar on fire and declaring myself the Queen of Nerds when I stole someone's flashing tiara. Woke up this morning with a velvet cape and plastic scepter to match. Mojitos are awesome!
Also, as my manager i'm going to put you in charge of making sure i don't drown.
Nah, just ran around, pinned random men to walls, bit their lips of and booked it.
At Walgreens. I'm getting condoms and a bottle of water so that I'm not "just getting condoms". I don't think I'm fooling anyone though.
I mean you can one up her. Instead of ruining friendships you can ruin marriages.
I CAN'T FALL IN LOVE WITH SOMEONE WHO HAS A LISP. I JUST CAN'T.
Skipping class. Wanna Drink now?
yea. just give me 15 min to write a paper.
Omg, new summer goal: sex in a bouncy castle.
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