It honestly took me longer to beat Ninja Turtles: Turtles in Time, than it did to have sex with her the first time we met.
Canada just beat USA, the sad part they still need us to make money so who really won
just looked at his mug shot... not really my type
My vibrator challenges you to a duel.
Come over and play the Jeter 3000 drinking game. You drink if the commentators say "captain" or "3000". I'll drink if they say "overrated" or "past his prime".
Ikeep having to ask jim if I'm actually talking. I canmt feel my body...this is what Christmas is all about
One of the art pieces was basically this chick throwing raw meat at the audience, anyone who got hit (which I did) got a free shot of whiskey. It was worth it.
Gonna be hard to top last New Year's Eve when the guy I blew came at midnight
You threw up in your own shoe then wore it home
I just want somewhere where I can sit down, without changing my clothes, that will serve me breakfast food and booze. Is that too much to ask?
My life has evolved from screwing randos, ok?
I need to just embrace dildos and cats and call it a life.
I feel like I put a fire out with my hand but idk if that was a dream or not
I party with great urgency now.
No. It's going to be "I'm mad that it took you so long to get over here" angry sex.
Randomize
