PS- did you die? If you did just text "dead" to me, so that I know.
And then I have a slight inkling that I went up to the bar and tried to order the bartender.
I just hit a new low..poured my beer in an empty coke can so I could drink in walmart.
Fell off bed. Face first. 10 stitches. huge scar on forehead. totally going to start telling ppl my parents died fighting Voldemort.
That's terrible. At least give it a creative name like muff mobile.
I met her dad while holding 4 empty beer bottles at the opera house. I think I made a hell of an impression.
He's like Medusa, you can't look directly into his eyes or you'll turn into a slut.
drunk. just smoked a spliff with a 19yr old hungarian bike taxi driver and bonded over the difficulties of getting weed in a different country. idk y shit like this isnt in the study abroad info packets
hooked up with the gay kid & his friend's mom told me "you know he has a identical twin brother whose straight, right?"
Wingman of the year award. I made out with her gay roommate in order for you to get laid. Better have been good.
The gay roommate was probably better than her. Consider yourself lucky.
I was going to ask the people in the kitchen to keep the volume down, but they're cooking pasta at 3 AM and one complimented me on my polka-dot nightgown. They're high. No volume control.
We met some guy at the beach, and dug a hole with him. He invited us to "come back at night and smoke a blunt in this hole"
Adderal can only make me focus so much. Your ass is stronger than my medicine. Congratulations.
I've never had someone have to dis-arm themselves before I sucked their dick prior to that
within five minutes of being here her dog found my vibrator in my bedroom and was carrying it around all proud! and her mom is here. so embarrassing :(
Randomize
