you thought that fire hydrant was a midget...you gave it a hug and asked for a lollipop.
upper decked the toilet at the restaurant that wouldn't let me pee there yesterday
so i was trying to be sexy and unzip his pants with my teeth. i got my lip caught in the zipper and it bled for a good 15 min, totally a mood killer.
I got her a Nickelback box set.
She recited Pi throughout ever orgasm she had....she said it was a game she likes to play...how far she gets is how she judges her lovers...I am oddly turned on by this...
The bathroom is trashed. Someone took down all the rings of the shower curtain and Scott threw up on the curtain liner. All the soap and shampoo is in the guest bedroom and the lightbulbs are in a drawer. And there are vom footprints.
She just got in car wreck. Wreck sex is better than break up sex
You would think that me seductively unzipping my cat feetie pajamas would make him want to fuck me.
I wasn't a groupie because I didn't carry his guitar home
BTW rolling him off the couch and onto that tarp was pure genius. He definitely pissed himself last night.
I just started talking about how noodles were so good
Next time we smoke please remind me to put my bong back in my build a bear box. My mom says if I leave it out one more time she's keeping it for herself.
Whenever I have a bad day I just look at the negetive pregnancy test I keep in my purse and remind myself things could be alot worse.
Think of the things uve done in the past. And ask urself "have I done worse?" If u answer yes. Its perfectly ok.
It's beautiful. It's what jesusxwants. I should send you a pic of my boobs out of friendship
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