Me too ba-by. I wanna bite your ear lobes they are so fat.
It doesn't have to be a walk of shame...just pretend he took you to breakfast.
No one shows this much boob at breakfast
I’m once again drinking at eight am on a Sunday in my tutu. This garment is literally my best purchase ever.
Since she's grinding up on your thigh right now, I'm sending you this text hoping it makes your phone vibrate in her vagina
the red, white, and blue power rangers were all also in the porn buisness, good bye childhood
I don't know how much more of summer my liver can take.
His housemate was playing a sad violin solo for me on my way out. God I hate musicians.
I'm sitting in my bathroom sink, eating a tuna sandwich. He had better weed than I expected.
tell that swedish kid i didnt take his shotgun. he GAVE it to me.
You know when you blow me it's the softest, most amazing feeling ever. Like putting my dick in a silk bag filled with puppy ears.
Also, as my manager i'm going to put you in charge of making sure i don't drown.
Well, you know sobriety isn't something I like to do on the reg.
Also can you rate on a scale of zero to jesus restraining order christ how creepy it is that he found a porn star that looks like me and has watched all the porn that she's been in
Lets go hit some boners bro!
I appreciate the acceptance and inclusion, but that's not how we gay men talk.
No one wants to start their day off with bloody lemons and a tampon in the toilet. Wtf.
Randomize
