Sooo... I woke up in the shower this morning. It was on.
im so glad i don't have to work tomorrow. I'm spendin all night on the new call of duty.
Wow. That's the gayest thing you ever said.
Look man i'm staying in playing videogames and growing a beard. Its not like i'm trying to get a girlfriend.
I woke up at 1pm, looked in the mirror and fist pumped...I might still be drunk
She just used a turkey baster to transfer alcohol from the glass to the bottle. Just thought you should know
You guys seriously fuck to bieber? That's embarrassing...
I told him I wanted to have sex to "halleluiah", he suggested the poke-rap.
I apologize for forcing you to look at my boob when we were high. It was uncalled for
Everything tastes like hotdogs and shame.
Those two lesbians inspired me. A whole new way to roll. Fuck shots. Gallons of vodka is the new tequila.
Just made a drunk dude do 20 push-ups. In the parking lot of the bar tonight for a keystone light I found in the back of my truck.
Oh yum
I feel like if anyone knew what an affection erection looked like it would be you
Sorry I yelled at you and called you Amish and puked on your eggs
Pretty sure I got pink eye from the strip club. There is also still beer cans rattling around in my shower.
The car smells like weed is an understatement.
well you're talking to a woman who had glorious sex less than 24 hrs ago so my opinion is biased.
Randomize
