I shaved my pubes to make my cock look like it has a lions mane. to surprise the girl that works at the zoo when she comes over.
The men handing out bibles on the quad are blatantly skipping me... am i that obvious
I truly believe that the solid foundation of any healthy relationship is a drunken one night stand so I can just get all the nasty shit out on the table
well when mom kept referring to my "black hole of a vagina" and how i devoured all the nuts at the party like i was a pro, i figured my stay was up.
Yes perhaps we are both wrong. And did you call me bj girl?
How is it possible that I am in a completely different city, and there are 2 dudes here that I've banged? How????
its friday night, im aone in my apartment and eating 2 year expired canned fruit, naked. i'm not single or anything..
he referred to his penis as the bashful dwarf from snow white
Well, that now makes it the 4th girlfriend in a row to cheat on me. I don't even care anymore...I'll date a prostitute and not even worry.
I'd have paid money to see Cookie Monster playing with a vibrator
Haha ohman remember when I peed in your blender? Gotta love college.
YOU DID WHAT???
Where does drinking Flat, warm beer from two days ago rank of the No Fucks Given scale?
They think I fractured my spine while doing your cousin on concrete.
He was a Cher impersonator. They are the draggest of queens
Im sitting on the floor of the hotel room eating nachos and drinking coffee. People should learn to embrace their hangovers
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