Instead of peeing my cute lil blue panties I peed in the train parking lot in front of an asian.
Found my sandals in your freezer this morning, THANKS
and i forgot to tell you that my armpit hair is now completely grown back. man i love winter.
you would think someone who fights for his country could fight to last longer than 2 minutes
Im celebrating the fact that the one guy who has ever denied me has just come out of the closet
Did they have a limo or was i just stoned?
I woke up with a black eye, bruised knuckles, wearing women's clothing, in a house I did not recognize, next to a solid 9. Thank you for making 21 special.
Sometimes things go your way and sometimes you get hit on by a fat drunk girl.
after all you did bang a few mechanics. you must have got some second hand skills by now for building us a go kart.
She invited me to Bikini Yoga with her friends. Sounds promising.
Not a or good or bad impression, just that you were all basically naked playing beer bong in sombreros and ties. Casual.
He went down on me to the national anthem being sung by Jordan sparks. It was very patriotic of him
The only time we had a decent conversation was when he was on acid, and, like, that's not a great start to a relationship.
Dude I just realized i did a camper walk of shame in front of amish people. I should have asked for cheese and a home made pie to cover it up. Im just lost shopping in amish country nothing to see here
I just used a box o wine to refill a bottle o wine to more effectively drunk clean
Randomize
