I play with my boobs when I'm bored. I playwith my nipples whe I'm drunk
positive spin of the day: since my nose is blocked from allergies cleaning the puke this morning was much easier
Just so you know.. I just graduated college with your name still written on my chest
If that doesn't scream bromance I dont know what does
Long labias. Talking about. Too drunk to explain. Tomorrow.
hot doctor. gonna get him to touch my tits. 'think i felt a lump' excuse in 3-2-1...
I don't care if shes your sisters age. Once someone is on my to do list theres only one way to get them off it
My goal for break? Fuck all my exes in reverse order.
We fucked on shrooms. It's like his dick was a beam of light and when I came I turned into a prism and my orgasms were made of rainbows.
Why is there puke in my guitar?
Because you puked in your guitar.
Is that a question you really want to ask or do you just want to tell you that I can't walk without feeling like my legs are collapsing underneath me
Stay away a while longer.
Still not sure if they're cops or strippers.
I'm literally rolling on acid for the first time during Thanksgiving. Help me.
I just don't understand why your parents aren't supporting your dreams of being a medieval weapon smith.
i've got three words. i. was. spanked.
The thing about online classes is the prof can't tell this mug is full of beer.
Randomize
