He seemed more like the type to get donkey punched by a she-male hooker to me
If he doesn't notice me by the next party, i'm just gonna go up to him and pll his pants down and blow him.
Sounds like a plan.
just crush a couple of percocets into it. tell him sam adams came out with a new beer. flavored with sleep.
I would describe it as pure and unadulterated shock, mixed with horror and a touch of nausea.
The water bill last month was outrageous. We have got to stop fucking for hours in the shower
i just drank the rest of the vodka . Btw why did we put candy corn in it?
I just want you to know how happy I am that you are circumcised.
I'm wearing a shirt that says "birthday girls #1 homo" ...what has my life come to?
I woke up on your bathroom floor, i used your towel I found laying on the floor as a cape to get to your bed. I thought it would help me walk straight if I looked like a superhero
At what point did you realize I was getting blown under the table during our dominos game?
I could probably be laying here naked and he'd still be more interested in this thunderstorm
How was my night? He had a picture of his mom on his night stand and he yelled "Papi like" when he came. Fuck tequila.
I wiped my ass with some girl's sock, I would honestly admit if I hate Caitlin's sandwich.
I look at it as community service. He was going through a rough time and I gave him an ego boost. That's how we're going to remember it. I was doing a good deed lol
He sent me a dick pic for every page I had to write for final papers (87) & brought me adderall. Tell me that isn't romance.
Randomize
