I thought smoking would make her look better, but all it did was enlighten me to her snaggletooth
Sounds like a blessing in disguise
So I just passed a billboard for "Risque Cafe: Good food and topless women". Fuck. I love SC.
You ran away and I found you three blocks later lying by a dumpster because "that's where your life belongs"
I briefly wondered why they weren't in school, but after the tinier one shouted "check out dem titties!" I had my answer
how opposed are you to picking me up at the bar at 11:00am?
Managed to convince my mom that I had been home for 3 hours sleeping on the couch downstairs and this t-shirt was your dads. I am SUCH a fucking boss.
just got booed by the entire restaurant.
your mom just called me and asked me why i'm not in jail with you right now.
There's an official council for his ex boyfriends. They told me they 'look forward to the day I join them'.
i'm about to tell me dad "sorry staying in isnt an option. i'm fucking a marine tonight."
Haha yeah that's basically it. He was like "i've always had a thing for you, and even sober i still would do and feel the same way." so glad to know i am worthy of a sober hookup as well.
I'm still high with raccoon eyeliner eyes and chocolate all over my face and chest, clutching a mug of wine. Happy graduation.
Yea I almost drowned giving a BJ in the shower once
You know you're good at multi-tasking if you can get a lap dance from someone while simultaneously eating a burrito.
unless you want this visit to have a different tone... more romantic, less molly in a hotel room
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