Are you kidding me. My sex life has diminshed to having wet dreams about jerking off.
I just googled "semen solvent" and got nothing. there has to be something that will wash this shit off!
I see a marketing opportunity
he said i'm too pretty to suck penis
I've been congratulating people on facebook about their forthcoming pregnancies. I can't wait to see how this plays out
I think "bars open christmas minneapolis" is the saddest google search i've ever done.
There was a lot of him and a little penis
I just past a guy who was biking and double fisting wit glass beer bottles. That is what i call talent
I woke up at 6 on his trampoline wearing only a parka.
hey. so did i get tied up by a jumprope last night?
well it can jab him in the chin so I am 100% sure he can suck his own dick
my goal for the rest of college is to escape STD free. fuck getting a job. this is more important.
IM HUNGOVER AT MOTHERS DAY BRUNCH AND A NUN FROM CHURCH JOINED US
ANIME MEN ARE MAKING ME QUESTION MY SEXUALITY AGAIN
All I've done today is nap, eat candy and get off from my vibrator. I didn't know it was possible to be THIS single.
Literally been in their house 5 minutes and I've projectile vomited all over the bathroom wall. The dog licked it up though so I think it's cool.
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