chick im bringing home just asked our cab driver if she could do a line off his turban. i think im in love - or trouble.
9 beers later and she still looks like Gary Busey.
The guy drove to our house at 6am to sell us weed. Now that's customer service.
She made Precious look like a solid 6.5.
I want something that's relevant to him banging her right after I did. Like "runner-up"
his mom cheated on his dad so i think he has a weird freudian thing for whores
I think that last shot was nyquil. Please come gte me. WINGS.
so exactly what is concert sex etiquette? Before, during or after???
all of the above
Probably twitter. Never underestimate a psycho girl with wifi
Perfect. Let's do that. I'm thinking everclear and green dye as our base. We shud start from there
omg i wish you could see the front of my car.
There's literally a dust print of your body and your arm trying to hold on and the other one where your fingers visibly dragged down the hood.
oh. oh my god. i just had lunch with my mom with semen still on my face.
My phone just put together a highlight reel of yesterday's dick pic session, set to music and everything
seriously considering getting an electric blanket rather than sleeping with guys this winter for warmth.
Who is this? I have a text from you last night telling me your name and to train hard for Tuesday, please make this make sense
Randomize
