So I'm stoned for 420, and have an eye doctor appointment in fifteen minutes
Are your eyes okay
I mean if I was Asian they would be
my soul wont recognize me after tonight
while you were getting the key to the dorm from the lobby i was giving a drunk monolog to the security camera about my life
she passed on me to fuck the foreign guy. is there a manlier, slightly less gay way of saying "always the bridesmaid, never the bride"?
nope.
I love you and want you to know that you're the best friend ever and me lassoing you with a seatbelt was out of sheer affection.
I don't care if shes your sisters age. Once someone is on my to do list theres only one way to get them off it
THE BIG GAY MAD HATTER IS HERE AND HE HAS DRUGS IN HIS PANTS FOR YOU. COME DOWNSTAIRS BITCHEZZZZ
Brilliant thought; pill pong.
What could go wrong?
This summer isn't about fun. We have to train our livers to survive the next four years.
Cute underage boy is in my house.
OH MY GOD. DON'T DO ANYTHING. WHY IS HE IN YOUR HOUSE.
omg he is no good in bed, bless his little heart and his big dick
Everything I own smells like cigarettes and victory right now. The smell is never coming out.
So I just got drugs from a house with a giant cross on it. Thank you, Jesus.
I swear to fucking god if he takes away netflix I will have no problem sending his gf our sex videos
I'm not saying I love you. I never said I love you. I said that if earth blew up like Krypton you'd be the only person I would like to have inside me when our bodies burn up in a fiery inferno
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