I just woke up in bed with 4 girls. Either i dont remember the best night of my life or they think im gay.
you threw your tampon into someones open car window...while they were driving.
I was debating whether her purse was real then I saw her puke in it.
Who is he, asking me if im dtf without a question mark
...
I just remember being in the bathroom alone cussing out the bunny
As for the 14 hours of vodka. I am all that is man.
I'm hurting so bad I actially had to wait for my mini wheats to get soggy before I could eat them..
Maybe don't sell him so much adderall next time. The other day during finals he was convinced that he could see the "molecules of life in the air" and kept reaching up slowly to grab them.
She put a shot in my mouth and then hit me with a pillow..
Currently doing the walk of shame out of some random girls house with my boyfriend. Talk about relationship goals.
She did what?
Who. The correct term is she did who.
Did you see him? The correct term is definitely what.
It's very disconcerting to wake up and she is gone. I never know where she could be. It's like playing wheres Waldo but Waldo could potentially be drunk and wandering around in weird places that normal Waldo's don't go.
You wanna explain to me why there is a banana shoved down my pants?
If u could sum last night up in one word?
omgwtfpineapple
The hump and dump is a beautiful thing
Randomize
