If last night was a website it would be called poordecisions.com OR uncircumcisedspanishweiner.org
Three 40's of Mickeys, is no excuse to be naked at Baskin Robins.
I have on cowboy boots and a ten gallon hat. I'd say I'm a little past tipsy
No. one of us needs a degree and I am already the alcoholic friend. I can't do everything
He told me he finished so fast because he's a sprinter. I hate athletes who are really just pussies.
that's what penises do
they tell lies.
someone wrote on his wall: "congrats on your engagement"
I think you may want to look into that...
Yeah. It's a great diet plan tho. Just have sex every time you get hungry.
The cops raided her house the day before class even started
Those assholes are becoming so efficient
I'm gonna go to bars and pick up women hopped up on democracy.
According to him, i kept saying "I'm belligerent as SHIT" and tried to run around the house in just my bra and underwear. Thats when they decided to carry me to the car and take me home.
i woke up at 4 pm face down on my hardwood living room floor. i would say its a new low but i think I found my new napping spot
Take the weirdness of Japan and add the insanity of Florida and that's Jimmy
MY MOM WALKED IN WHILE I WAS EATING THEM OUT AND STARTED ASKING US ABOUT THE PROJECT RUNWAY EPISODE WE WERE WATCHING EARLIER
Would the comment "Down Goes Frasier" be too inappropriate at this time?
Randomize
