Is it wrong that im more embaressed about the karoke than the toplessness?
Preparing for wine wednesday. How would you feel about improvising and starting a white russian wednesday tomorrow instead? you know, shake things up a bit.
I couldn't function. I was to the point where I was using a bottle cap as a monocle.
Theres a handprint of sauce on my frig, one streaked across my face, a trail of it to my bedroom and sauce all in my bed and i have no idea what the fuck i ate.
Our room will be decorated with my urine.
I consented to having my finger branded. How was your night?
I just used FaceTime as a look out while I got a blowjob in the library
BOOTY CALL IN EFFECT, BOOTY CALL IN PROCESS, BOOTY CALL ACCEPTED, AND BOOTY CALL INITIATES FRIDAY NIGHT.
Walk of shame dressed as a Christmas tree, it happened. Ho ho ho bitches
Got serenaded to on the streets of Denver...the song was about a young banana that made really big decisions, got stds, and joined a gang. I think I like Colorado
Today I'm playing this game called how physically long can I Lay in this one spot before moving, do you have an estimated time of departure?
I don't know his last name, but he's in phone as Pat the conqueror.
What I'm saying is DOWNGRADE. Like, do you see the caps lock?
Why is there a whip in the kitchen?
I just volunteered myself to get tazed this should get interesting
Randomize
