i wanted to be an indian when i was a child. apparently you cannot grow up to be an indian.
It was some time between the gurgles of her blowing me to us throwing up in the same bucket afterwards that I realized we would be doing this a lot.
We always say that. And then its 4am and someone is screaming at strippers.
you know, even black out drunk I can always remember the exact point where I should have stopped drinking.
craigslist free llama. are you in or are you in?
Tipped our cab with a photo booth pic of us, a paper dollar, a dollar in quarters, a crest white strip. And a tanning pass valid in boston
He gave me a trycicle he stole from a kid as an "offering" to have sex. I couldnt say no when he went through all that.
Only thing worse than going to work with a hangover is going to work with a hangover then realizing that u don't have to work that day
I don't think it's food poisoning, I think it's cause you cooked it over burning styrofoam
You let someone poor beer into my mouth off of a balcony. Best friend test failed.
Haahahahahahhaaa
Just did. I played that shit out so casual I deserve an Oscar. Or am Emmy, or whatever the fuck you get for acting like a boss
She thinks you guys are the gods of the bathroom. If she runs past you naked, give me a heads up
I found a hair colour I want in a porn.
Fuck him and his perfect arms, huge penis and relentless ability to ignore me.
you would have been so proud of how classy i just looked at the pharmacy with my $10 off plan b coupon. so resourceful.
Randomize
