We'll make it into fun. If I can make wii bowling into a drinking game, I can make studying spanish into a sex game.
Puked in a plastic neiman Marcus bag while driving. My biggest accomplishment yet
She liked every single Facebook status in her newsfeed and then made her status 'I LIKE U GUYS'
It was going well until he told me about the 7k he made in college to be in a gay porn
I vaguely remember walking down the highstreet with a plate of K offering lines to passers buy. I sold a line to a taxi driver.
I'm pretty sure we organized our beer pong teams according to who's been circumsized...
Roommate is high and swore off off the diet. Said she wants to make everyone else fat since it'd be easier. She spent today baking 3 dozen brownies for the office tomorrow and is already down to 24.
Last night I flashed a car full of people my tits for a bag of pretzels so yeah I'd say I was at least tipsy.
Also, lets remember that we have known each other for nearly a decade and our two most recent photos to one another are boxes of plan b
So his 25th anniversary post of love to his wife was almost verbatim what he said to me last week. Does that mean I win or lose?
The fake number she gave me was for Pappa John's. Now I have a large pepperoni on the way.
How did you end up breaking into that laundromat at 3am? I saw the snapchat but like..... How?
and then the sword just ended up between my legs
Mom wants to know if you're coming over or if it's safe for her to take her bra off...
I'm going to draw something on my chest and I need to incorporate my nipples. Any ideas?
Randomize
