so whenever I text yeah my phone automatically corrects it to yeahhhheeehhyeahyeahh .. too much party in the USA?
Fell off bed. Face first. 10 stitches. huge scar on forehead. totally going to start telling ppl my parents died fighting Voldemort.
First day at work... I clogged up the office toilet on purpose to assert my dominance.
for future reference: even when 4 loko is flat it still fucks you up. im near a tree. come find me.
I am almost positive I asked to milk her when I was saying my goodbyes.
I saw Nicolas Cage's face in the moon. Those were good shrooms.
We were high as balls fucking in the back seat when we saw the blue lights. He's like, "I got this" and walked over butt ass naked and goes, "Sorry dude, we're just banging" and the cop apologized for disturbing us and drove off.
I wonder how he feels knowing that he's the one who turned me gay
At a bar across from the city police station. I PROMISE I will do something great.
She's the perfect storm of great hair, big boobs, intellectualism, and mild moral ambiguity.
He literally lured me in the house with his cat then we ended up fucking on the living room couch while the cat just sat there and watched
I think one make out session at a bar per year is probably the best choice.
That's so awful of me. Instead of comforting her I masturbated in front of my ex-boyfriend.
I think I met my butt stuff soulmate
i woke up with blood and cuts on my face and i don't remember anything after winning four games of beer pong in a row last night. and i'm still drunk.
you are a true champion. bear my children.
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