K I think ***** turned off her phone. Guess I can't make her feel any more miserable tonight so I'm goin to sleep
I didn't say she couldn't, I said you shouldn't.
FUCK TREES I CLIMB BUOYS MOTHERFUCKER
STOP listening to that song
I am sleeping on the floor in your room so if you have sex in here just don't roll on me
i don't want you to think of me as your TA
we just did breakfast shots, I have a black eye and savage garden is on . Best weekend ever
Why are you covered in frosting?
Friend's birthday situation turned into enlightened cake orgy.
Had to crawl to the kitchen this morning cuz I was too hung over but really wanted fruity pebbles. yes. I ate fruity pebbles on the kitchen floor.
You call it a hangover, I call it a baby squirrel burrowing its way out of my head.
I need to stop ravaging the freshman dorm like a virginity-snatching dragon.
for real. if he messaged me that i'd have made his penis cower in a corner.
He is always putting motivational shit on FB. So its like i know hes sad lonely and looking at internet porn. Break up winning
Hurry up I'm getting mooned by a hobo
In case you're wondering... Yes walmart will judge you for buying vodka and pickles at 645am.
Hitting up all my dealers for my birthday grams is paying off
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