i think i may have caused an international incident at the french embassy, just fyi
hahaha how?
its a long story involving a horse trailer and some shrubbery
you traded sex for a burrito?
Girl in front of me has spent the class alternating between playing farmville and the tiffany's website looking at engagement rings. Every once in a while she holds her hand up to the screen.
She doesn't deserve the breathe the same air that we do.
She just bought a cow and we've moved on to looking at wedding dresses.
i just licked mashed potatoes off my blackberry. i'm not even ashamed to admit that to you.
Dude how the fuck are we gonna get the lawnmower outta the pool?
until you tell me otherwise ill assume we're playing "cavity search" the homeland security game to spice up our sex life
I think I just accidentally agreed to become a surrogate for a gay couple
I wonder what acid is like for a blind person... Can we find this out?
Nothing like an alcohol-fueled, 6-hour-long hunt for weed--complete with occasional breaks for sex.
Favor? Can you not wear as much glitter on your face this time? Walking in the house looking like a disco ball was enough embarrassment for the week 😒
But you're the one who should be jamming foreign objects into my vaj instead of an old weird lady. I mean, it is your birthday....
I'm just gonna yell "SURPRISE ME" and see what happens. No way this could go wrong
She wouldn't eat a clam- if you blow a line pregnant you can eat a clam
I just wish he would stop trying to bring his emotional baggage into our sexual relationship.
dude im trying to eat his ass so can you stop for 10 minutes
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