At some point I made a semi-conscious decision that i was okay with sleeping in my own vomit.
I think "bars open christmas minneapolis" is the saddest google search i've ever done.
What do you mean you don't pregame your bikini waxes?
Leaving the dealer's house. He just gave me a sincere hug and said good luck. This cant end well.
I know. I just don't want anything else. I have no other desire. Just a ham sandwich.
I honestly don't know what to make of that.
A ham sandwich would be nice.
Why do I have flashes of a dark shed in my memory?
Because we had sex in one.
im drinking italian dressing and watching dexter. its 230am. lets never drink on sundays again.
Romantic bubble bath turned into splash war. We can't be adults about anything.
I think i just fucked the same guy a second time without realizing it....does that make me a good whore or a bad whore???
Is this one of those "if you didnt give such good head we couldn't be friends" moments?
Ok everyone, the frat server is slow because of the 11 TB of porn on there. Either clean out your partition by Sunday or it will be erased. Thanks for your help.
In case you were wondering how drunk I was last night, there was an unopened slim Jim in front of my door and I ate it.
I think it was a low point but honestly at this point I've had so many that my life is like a valley
My only contacts are booty calls or the club hockey team.
I'll text you tomorrow when I'm not in someone's torture cave if I don't by noon call for help.
Randomize
