when i was alone, his dick was there for me...
The kid in the park, who was on a leash I might add, looked at us and yelled "stranger danger" before hiding behind his dad
$5 off purchases of eighths or more today only. Happy tax-free weekend. -Your consumer-minded pot dealer
Is it too much to ask that I wake up one morning with out a pic of your dick as my wallpaper??
Member that time when we got super drunk and had fun and fell in love
I remember it like it was tomorrow.
I mean technically the bite was both in my nose and on the outside of it. I thought I was going to need stitches or something.
Why was his mouth around your nose anyways?
It was just one of those nights, man.
i am laugh crying so hard the guy next door stopped playing guitar
Paying for my weed with Mike's hard lemonade freezables. The perks of having a gay dealer
Itd be nice if there was a level of interest in me somewhere in between the indifference and obsession that I've only been attracting
idk wtf was in that bud but I was talking to my dead dog last night bro holy shit
I just put Gatorade in my wine, cause electrolytes, you know.
That sad moment when the drawer I used to keep condoms in now has poptarts in it..
Woke up snuggling with a large wooden rhino that I stole last night...obviously, we had fun.
I just lived through a real life episode of jersey shore.
A reply to my tweet is getting more likes than mine, the disrespect is real
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