He looks like the kind of guy that still collects pokemon cards
The frequency that you give me blue balls couldn't be healthy.
Should I feel bad that my boyfriend pays for my birth control and his friends get to reap the benefits?
Dear god how many nuts did u bust in me my vagina feels like a bowl of jello.
Your car is in front of my house. Keys are in the mailbox. There is a fire hydrant in your trunk. Happy Birthday
If you call getting home safe by sprinting down Spanish Harlem barefoot still rolling then ya I made it
He was so hammered. He called the cops on the landscapers he thought they were trespassing. 2 were arrested on warrants.
I knew things were bad when my gyno recommended meditation.
I didn't know where you were for like 15 minutes and then I went in the bathroom splashing water on the mirror and throwing hand towels around saying that you were "redecorating"
WHY WOULD YOU SWIPE RIGHT???!!!!!
The same reason I ordered and ate almost an entire pizza last night
When I type "sleep" my phone suggests "with Trevor". My phones an asshole.
What part of I just want to watch porn, eat Taco Bell, and masturbate did you not understand?
He was talking about his friends deceased ferret and I still managed to orgasm.
Now THAT is dedication!
I need more 20 something year old penis in my life
Just so we're clear, drunk and naked is not appropriate attire for Thanksgiving. Do it this year and Grandma will ban you for life.
Randomize
