I gave him a blowie and after he said he wanted to send a giftbasket to the girl we met through.
Silently passing ghastly beer farts as I move around the bridal department at Tiffany's. Call it my contribution to the holiday spirit.
its 9am. i just got home. spent 6 hours blowing him in a closet last night
Yep just saw a license plate that read "taint 2" which implies there is a "taint 1". Only in Florida
My roommate has every episode of Full House. I'm going to fail my midterm tomorrow.
And for the fourth year in a row Christmas has ended in tears, yelling and me drinking. This is officially our longest running Christmas tradition.
I will not ride trays down a flight of stairs topless and drunk....
And by defning the relationship I mean telling him I'm gonna fuck other people but its cool If he does the same.
Who gives a hand job to a 19 yr old one night then the next lets a 31 year old random man fly a plane to town and pick u up and take u to dinner?
I feel like my map app knows I'm hungover and is strategically not driving me by fast food places so I cannot stop
He doesn't want a full on relationship, he provides me with all the weed I can handle and gives me multiple mind blowing orgasms. He's my soul mate.
You fell in the corner and refused to get up unless someone helped you. And then you crawled under the pool table and took a nap.
Thank you for helping a fellow gay friend today. You are sublime and deserve free tickets to the Ellen show
So, I can officially cross "getting eaten out in a church confession booth" off my bucket list.
It’s a prereq for med school, so I hope the professor likes blow jobs
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