and thats when i went through the window and a shard of glass got stuck in my ass. the doctor said it was the best injury hed seen all month. i am a champion of life.
i cant believe jose lima did steroids
apparently the kind that make you shitty at baseball
Spider just rapelled from her vag rethinking online dating.
did you mean anything you said last night? i just wnna know
no
He moved away. I mourned his dick all of Sunday. I feel a little better now.
I've done unspeakable things to your penis. I have every right to give it a name.
I just want to know what horrible accidents of evolution allowed that tiny penis to exist
I took Xanax and it did nothing to me. First sign I'm crazy and actually need it.
it's always good to have a friend that's a hairdresser, a massage therapist, maybe throw in a lawyer just in case, and always have a friend on food stamps
Oh I see how it is...you can snap chat the world your balls but I wear dinosaur feetie pajamas and I'm the "weird one"
Don't Richard Nixon her vagina
I ask him how he's going, like life and stuff, and he responds "20-0 pats"
He put a doughnut around his dick and I ate it. What can I say. It was a good fucking night.
Bring vodka when you get back from court.
Ugh hungover at a laundromat is a terrible feeling. For some reason I keep getting sucked into staring at the clothes spinning around and around and it makes me want to profusely projectile vomit everywhere
Randomize
