There was a fist fight in my basement last night at four in the morning, in case you were wondering
I am doing a scientific study and i need a brief description of the underpants you are wearing
I would blow Magic Johnson for a pack of lucky strikes right now. Post-hiv.
How come ATM is perfectly acceptable, yet not washing your hands after you poo is socially reprehensible?
So I have the professor convinced that the textbook will take another week to deliver. that should give me enough time to replace the cash i spent on strippers.
dude wearing that thong all day was not worth the 7 bucks
I want him to be the Hulk to my Brooke Hogan this Halloween. Can I ask him to be my daddy this weekend?
Only if you say it like that.
It was pretty bad. Like cum-on-my-face-while-singing-Let-It-Snow bad.
Is singing the Indiana Jones theme while I put on the condom off limits?
I'm not the one who can lose their erection, so it's fair game
well... I just junk punched a carnie. Doesnt matter how, it still counts for my bucket list.
i had a tequila and emotion induced one night stand with a random stranger. senior year: infinity me: 0.
People shouldn't leave you two alone together. You're just going to end up having sex.
I asked my boyfriend if he wanted a bong for his birthday but he instead asked for corndogs
the cheaper the better
SOME DUDE PUT OUT FOR A MCCHICKEN AND YET YOU STILL WON'T FUCK ME
idk what happened last night but i just wokeup with nothing on but a necklace...what is this, the fucking titanic?
Randomize
