why is it that everytime a half black man enters something boring, it suddenly becomes sexy to people? golf? the presidency?
Skinny jeans should not be made in size 14. Then, it's just a lie.
He kissed a someone with a penis
Do they fuck in the end of "Lady and the Tramp" or am i just wasting my time
After me and my boyfriend broke up I had to resist the temptation to send a mass text to my booty calls saying "thank you for your patience. it will be rewarded."
she keeps a pillow, blanket, and a pack of saltines under the bathroom sink, for "rough nights".
I faked it too. I just spit on your bed.
All of my current injuries can be related back to sex.
Just saw someone tackle someone else to the ground for their coors light; he's not getting back up.
Yea, now that Irene is hitting us stores aren't selling any alcohol; beer is now a precious commodity.
we can be functional adults and still think pizza lunchables are the shit
Did you catch one of my beer pong balls in your cleavage or was that a dream?
She's passed out laying in the middle of the street. Cars are honking at her and going around her body. We need to stop playing BONECRUSHER.
i just need to find someone who enjoys eating frozen waffles as much as I do. It will be perfect.
Well, my mom found the ball gag and whip. Looks like I'm never going home again.
The body is still out there. I don't think my trainer realized when he asked me not to drink for 24 days, how often I see dead people
Randomize
