we were playing true or dare on a webcam chat and i was way to drunk ...i ended up having to drink my own piss outta a beer bottle, life couldnt get any worse right now
i paused nhl 10 while i jerked off and it was like a crowd was cheering me on
there comes a time in a mans life when you ask yourself, will i fake love for blowjobs? and the answer is always yes
Like if there was an award for best way to take a girls virginity, he would get a standing ovation. And first prize. Probably a bunch of roses too. That good.
idk. I was on the deck with Dominic and i felt something weird on my arm. I looked down and you were licking my elbow.
BTW I totally understand panda express being popular amongst the highs. I can feel the shrimp being slaughtered in my mouth. It's fantastic.
Best part of Friday afternoon drinking? Having ping pong balls thrown into my cleavage.
I was wasted and the time changed. I blame the male strippers.
I have a cracked rib, no way in hell I'm bottoming for him tonight!
You don't know weird until you've had a musical wet dream about your older brother.
I got dropped off at my house at like 1030. Woke up hugging a street cat I've never seen before. Ended up drinking 260 oz of beer. 65 types. Then went out after blehhhhhh
Peeing in taco bell cups is part of the fun of going to taco bell
Why would you call when you knew I'd be having sex!?
Why would you answer?
It was like a baby arm holding another baby arm holding an apple grove. Fuckin huge!
She lured me back to her place with pizza and tits. I was totally helpless
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