Its only 8 and she is already passed out
Perfect here is wht u do. Gently slip your index middle and ring finger into her butt hole but gently u dont wnt to wake her..let me know when ur ready for step 2
who knew "i drink your milkshake" would work as a pickup line
What can I say, he stumbled upon the key to my heart: orgasms and mac 'n cheese.
Doing blow at 6am to "wake myself up for clinicals" was a baaaaad idea
I woke up to a gnawing sound in the middle of the night and asked him what it was. He told me it was the family of squirrels that lives in the wall and to go back to sleep.
I told them the reason I passed out was because of "heat exhaustion." Not from showing up drunk. Good thing this is Arizona.
it was good sex until i became a rubber doll and he became a jack hammer, so i guess overall it was good
I was cracked out naked on a toilet pretending I was posing for playboy.. Shit got weird, but apparently I had a good bday.
Currently trying to figure out if the guy has a cane next to me or brought a weird dildo to the bar
Megan brought her friend up last night, greeted her by drunkedly taking a piss all over her duffle bag of clothing
life lesson #151: dont let people go batshit crazy and stab you in the knee
i will live by this rule
I'm smoking a bowl in my bathtub. I'm meant to be alone.
the worst fight me and my gf ever had was over Guy fieri
I walked in on him jerking it to videos of UFC fighters. The most awkward part: he didn't stop when I walked in.
Just beer bonged through a snorkel, add that to the list
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