i woke up with someone drivers licenses in my wallet this am...he said i don't have a business card so just take my drivers license
I will give you vagina for bag of have'a corn chips.
I woke up in his bed wearing nothing but my underwear and it was on backwards and my entire body is too sore to move...
Im glad someone is finally more of a drunken slut than I am.
There are going to be so many Snookis this Halloween that I might just dress as the guy that hit her and punch them all in the face
Notice: I will be intoxicated and in your area this evening. To unsubscribe from my sexual solicitation list, reply 'fuck off'.
You need to tell him your pregnant or we need to stop playing doubles beer-pong. My liver is begging you.
You stumbled in at 10am, half-clothed and still drunk from last night and yelled "well, its not called a walk of pride!", then passed out on the couch.
Get your clothes on you are our DD for the night. The usual three way payment
watched my neighbor eat five yodels, mow his lawn, and then cry on his porch after the party... what did you give him?
You were typing for me while I was hyperventilating into a paper bag on the floor.
She ran from her surprise party screaming "I'm not ready for an intervention." Yeah, the girl has a problem.
He just chose domino's over sex. ARE YOU KIDDING ME?
I'm smoking and watching the Muppets Treasure Island. Where are you?
Something about that statement reminds me just how much of a role model you are, sis.
you made the house rule that every time you'd say "yay" everyone had to drink.
that explains so much
Grabbed the cop's ass and he still arrested Heather instead. Victory is mine!!
Randomize
