Sex on a kitchen table is not as amazing as they make is seem in the movies.
a man that wears gold spandex underwear and party boys other people is a man after my own heart.
Took an aderol, wrote a differential equation for solving volume of flow of a rectangular channel with change in depth, then masturbated for the 6th time.
She tried to ditch the cab before she payed but she forgot to grab her shoes and wake me up
remind me to get a blood sugar test this week. I'm pretty sure I'm a mojito away from diabetes.
I cant tell which is worse. That its only my third time doing laundry this year or that its the first time ive done it sober.
The only thing I accomplished today was naming the bag of wine I've been drinking
I'm scared to see what happens if we keep winning like this. I don't think there enough livers for every one after the season is over.
You shouldn't do laundry high cus pink.
I poured somre cereal, realized the chocolate to flake ratio was off, tried to fix it by digging through the box, gave up because of the difficulty level, and poured it back in the box. Being high is the best diet.
He put on a roller derby documentary. It was either bore myself to death watching that or take off my dress. He was very appreciative.
If it makes you feel any better they literally are drinking alcohol out of a toilet. They are serving drinks out of a nasty ass toilet...!
Its guy fieris flavor town of suffering™
Not sure if buying Twisted Teas for the alcoholics posted up outside the gas station counts as paying it forward but I am optimistic.
I am beginning to doubt your commitment to my making poor choices tonight
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