Got a plan. Ill do rock paper scissors and if you win we smoke a joint. Throw rock.
the real housewives reunion is on...i wanna see if danielle can look any more surprised than the facelift allows
i wanna see dina punch her face back to normal
i googled "the goonies drinking game." i may be alone, but i'm living the college dream.
Please return the baby Jesus and sheep to the quad
You were plastered and wouldn't stop telling this hot girl about your plan to graffiti a church in easter colored spray-paint saying that Jesus was a Zombie... she kept saying her father was a pastor...
It's only 4 pm and I'm already way past my preferred quota of "could have died" moments
I love having a vagina, its like having the keys to a city
This would be a good time to bring up the fact that my spider-man fork is MIA
I'm wearing too many socks to be ok with this.
I wore pigtails while I was having sex with that 22 year old just to make him feel like a pedophile.
When you put my balls in your mouth i just want to buy you expensive gifts...you know what i mean?
I'm 22 and I'm drinking hawaiian punch from a sippy cup. Everything is right in the world.
Oh also we fucked while one of the old Rudolph movies was playing on tv so it was festive
i ran into the Jo the housecleaner earlier this morning. i mentioned i had a little hangover and she asked what the occasion was.. i replied "Tuesday" without thinking. she judged the shit out of me.
Um..... I have taste. The only thing I am going to bedazzle is my vagina.
Randomize