i think my mom watched the whole time
We should write a comic book about the many adventures of your vagina. Maybe even give it a cape or something.
So I tried to call my phone from his phone and was like, "hey, my name is not in here..I thought you had my number" turns out he has my number saved as "gives good head"
I was thinking about baking his mom "sorry you found out i was sleeping with your son" cupcakes
this weekend will be like the season finale to my life
I think misery doesn't even think of me as company anymore. I'm an unofficial roommate.
Made a visit to my old puking stall. I missed it.
I wore my front clasp bra so he would have to prove his sobriety to me before we had sex.
I'm seriously considering refraining from drinking on school nights.
I like how you say that with 4 school days left of the school year..
It's Breast Cancer Awareness Month!!!! What random hook up should check my tata's this year?!?!
THIS IS THE 11TH FUCKING COFFEE TABLE THAT YOU AND RICHARD CRASHED THROUGH.
I'm surprised me and Richard survived 11 of your coffee tables.
YOU TWO ARE BUYING ME A NEW ONE I AM PISSED.
Is it okay to mention my ambition to become a supervillian and kill all humans on a first date, or is that a second date discussion?
Thx for last night. I've never had so much fun while being told my life decisions are questionable at best.
NOT PREGNANT HIGH FIVE!
So I figured it out. There's two types of shitters. Moaners and grunters. And on occasion there's a third. It's the ill fabled grunt moaner.
Randomize
