Is that you in the white hat?
Fine suit yourself
you could tell him that chauvinism doesn't go very well with his gay homemade tank top
how did he go about obtaining bull sperm?
I made weed fried chicken. What have you done today?
One last question would your parents let me sleep in your bathtub for the night?
I accidently showed a girl my balls already today. Made me think of you.
Finally hooked up w/ that yoga instructor chick. Got a little more than I expected. Like a full on bush more than I expected. How do you tell a girl that her bush scares you?
Yea, I had a chaperone thankfully. I'm in the fetal position attempting to eat captain crunch now.
Hes a nice guy and all but I'm only interested in his drunken alter ego.
If I die tonight and was cremated, you could probably get high off the smoke.
I made $130 by ordering two pizzas and charging them $10 a slice. If they weren't so stoned they might have realized they could have just ordered another pizza for $20.
I snapchatted him 4 pictures of me as Tarzan's dad so if he never talks to me again at least we'll know why
I just had a flashback to me puking and you telling me it was okay because my boobs still looked awesome.
I think i got beer on your cat.
From now on I'd like to be known as Rampage.
Randomize
