i love how you can even make your typing come across bitchy
I just told someone i was in "addition and subtraction 160".......and they believed me.
The savings from $3 shots still doesn't add up to plan-b
I vomitted in the hotel where they film gossip girl last night. Everywhere.
He just called shotgun on the way to the squad car.
I'm not drinking anymore...and by that, I mean until St. Patrick's Day.
I dont know but I had two different hospital bands and half a pie when i woke up.
I may or may not have just hot boxed a backhoe on the construction site of a police station that's being rebuilt..
I just sent you a multitude of sexual pictures...and you responded with a Charles Dickens Quote.
Trying not to ruin Mother's Day with the enormous hickey on my neck. Nice.
I just licked a piece of cheese off my phone screen if that makes you feel any better
Do u ever find yourself high af, watching American ninja warrior and crying at the athletes stories?
drinks after work?
that question mark offends me.
Hey babe! Random question. Do you by chance have the pic of my nipples covered with ninja turtles band aids? Thanks.
Googling enemas while I get a pedicure ... My life in one senence
Randomize
