Megan Fox is the only woman I would let pee on me.
I'm similar. She's the only woman I'd ask to pee on me.
Ok yeah you're right. I'd ASK Megan Fox to pee on me. I'd ALLOW Erin Andrews to pee on me if she asked.
Best moment of my life. I just got a text from some random number that said i can't wait to touch you. Her name is kiara and she had the wrong number.
so i may have indirectly taught my 13 year old campers how to give blowjobs.
If i had 4 hands right now is have booze in 3 of them and my cock in the other all because you went to denver. just sayin.
let's see, i ended up walking for an hour towards a macdonalds that didnt exist, sprinted full tilt into a powerline, and left a 30 dollar tip to a waitress at dennys we made friends with. I REGRET NOTHING
Tried to dodge fire in poncho. Fell through fence. Blood everywhere.
Is this the 6 foot tall blonde I screwed in the bar last weekend?
In the bar?! Very impressive! But keep guessing!
Haha its fine we ask know it. He's still cool thought
Focus on the keyboard man. Focusssss
I'm 99% sure I just puked glitter. Wine drunk Mondays shouldn't be a thing.
Do you think it would be a margarita if you just out tequila in a sonic slush?
These cutoffs are too tight but my ass looks like Freedom
Where are you? Where am I? Why am I so red?
I have a weird question... did you bite my back last night?
All I can taste is Pickle Juice and Cocaine.
Staff meetings will be awkward since my boss and I both did the new intern
Maybe she doesn’t know you did him
Oh she definitely knows - it was a threesome
Please tell me you’re not taking life advice from porn scripts again
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