and then he ordered a "diet and rum" like the most important part of the drink was the diet.
that sweater is a total boner killer. you might as well be wearing a wedding dress.
Also, just grabbed a bunch of "tuxedo black" condoms. formal, anyone?
do guys with small dicks even attempt to pursue romantic relationships?
I just realized. my grades aren't ready for st patties day...
He kept moaning America instead of Erica while fucking me.
I found him. We're on the way back to the condo. He was sitting in the lifeguard stand letting people passing by take pictures of his nipples for a buck each..he made 15 dollars
I take back all of the insults I've ever said toward those money makers
Good news. That bum you thought that died is alive.
I took a cab from the club to the grocery store. I needed peanut butter.
If Anthony Weiner can get in trouble for sexting 2 or 3 girls I dunno how politicians will make it in 10 years.
Lol I would vote for a guy that is trying to be a senator that has a viral video of him motorboating a topless chick
I want to just live in between your butt cheeks.
Let's put a bunch of beers in a backpack and shotgun them in a Red Lobster bathroom
Last night I had a sex dream about Trudeau, he hasn't even been prime minister for 24 hours
Fucking adderall I just talked at the security guard for 90 minutes
Had to trim my nails cus they got too long to effectively finger myself with
Randomize
