Whore.
I was being facetious
Don't try to hide behind big words.
plans for tonight: dress up like pirates, drink a bottle of mad dog and watch the sorostitues across the street get naked. and yes, the mad dog part is already in play. hurry the fuck up. i look like a loser doing this alone.
I can't remember last night. I must have yelled at your girlfriend til she cried again.
Yup.
Getting up at 8 this morning to drink could be the best and the worst idea we've ever had
At one point last night while tipping the bartender you looked at him and said "If I need money later, I'm taking this back"
im guessing your the one that tried to make bacon in the toaster
Go ahead. I tried to back up ur budhism story but she mite be catching on
Dammit. I hoped that would work. Just tell her I'm doing my pilgrmidge to Nepal or something.
i now officially have to be stoned in order to look like my passport when i go to a different country
I'm about to airblow my boyfriend. I'll three-way you.
I hope you have a dream of a sloth with my face touching you erotically
I found a playlist on my ipod with only one song on it: gold digger. confused, but not surprised.
Growing a beard is gonna make smoking a pipe look so much more majestic
Is "head down ass up" an appropriate way to say good morning?
I'm drinking with a guy who apparently blew my dog sitter.
I'm in my math teacher's garage hiding right now because I fucked his son last night. It's fine
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