He's marrying her, which means that she is his most important person in the world, so you gotta deal with it...okay?
please pick me up with an explanation of why i shacked in a trailer with a guy who doesnt have a car.
I just made a moltov cocktail out of lubricant and a christmas bulb. The fire is still going strong. MERRY CHRISTMAS
And then i made him answer questions about me before i took off my clothes
She looked like a pterodactyl.....but dude i love dinosaurs
Just remembered to take my BC at the liquor store. Just swallowed it with a free sample of Whiskey.
She gave him HEAD floating down the river in a tube as big a a tire. I just don't know how to compete with that sort of level of slut.
Ok seriously I'm living off of bologna but I have 4 handles in the freezer.
I'm chatting on my fake OkCupid account and watching Lion Witch & Wardrobe on my second screen. Hail me, King of the Creepers
Did your surprise acid trip turn out well?
day drinking caused me to be in bed at a decent time. can't complain.
So there I was, eye fucking the waiter and I spilled beer all down my boobs
How’s your Christmas Eve so far?
I just chased my melatonin with red wine. It’s 12:00pm.
Btw I definitely had pizza sauce on my face, a painful hickey on my neck, and I just remember screaming SISTER WIVES because of the girl's 1997 jean skirt! Wow.
I consider walking to the bars and dancing my exercise and I buy doubles so my drinks r heavier so that's my arm workout
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