I went to moterboat her and I started laughing, so I just kinda blew on them... I think I'm gona call that move the sailboat.
just heard a swedish guy suck in helium and speak in his accent. top 5 favorite moments. ever.
She just used a chaser for red wine.
Talk about the highs and lows of a night out: had a threesome, then got robbed at knifepoint.
I have just two goals for this NYE. 1) get so drunk that every guy looks like Clive Owen 2) make out with as many Clive's as possible.
also, i am in no position to judge as my life choices today went along the lines of "YAY VODKA". for breakfast.
I'm always drunk lately
Now I'm in a game of hide and seek in Sears
Can I interview you during sex or would that be weird?
Dude walks in wearing jean shorts and a graphic tshirt and goes home with an attractive female. EXPLAIN YOURSELF UNIVERSE.
the amount I squirted last night was insane. Im glad i ignored tlc's advice, i went chasing waterfalls and loved every god damn minute of it.
She's licking the whiskey out of the carpet. I think we may be soulmates.
YOU CAN'T GET A TATTOO BECAUSE OF KPOP FANFICTION. THAT'S NOT HOW LIFE WORKS
Dude, I'm telling you, date younger. He brought pizza, made me squirt twice, and then left to immediately go to brunch with his mom.
I'm officially disproving the fact that a hoe never gets cold bc this hoe is COLD.
hey im sorry i made fun of the color of your sheets, but like it was all i could focus on during sex because they were just THAT UGLY
Randomize