I love you!
You're insane
Fuckin crazy man! Seriously though I think if you would have me I honestly seriously think about marrying u!
Alright now lets video chat so I can xshow u my dick! Hahahaha
He kissed a someone with a penis
i realized that the internet ruins the joy of a father passing down playboys to his son
So this shipmate of mine somehow managed to throw up in his back pocket.
Too many people are naked here for this to be normal.
I woke up in your car in the McDonalds parking lot. What the hell happened to 'no man left behind'?
Exactly. So he deserves crazy "thanks for keeping me out of jail" sex. Or an "I'm glad your excessive cocaine habit had some positive outcomes" blowjob.
She asked if I could convince him so shave that shit off his face so he'll have a snowball's chance in hell of getting laid.
Teflon bitches. Nothing fucking sticks to this kid, not even a kid. Maury Povitched this shit outta that situation.
Everybody in the immediate area is hooking up like it's doomsday
WHY AM I NOT THERE?
It's like if a cloud had tits and you laid on them.
he's definitely still old enough to be your dad. even your grandfather, if you come from a line of juvenile delinquents
Thank god I didn't get free from the hospital restraints. I wouldent have lasted long drunk, startled and in an ass-less gown In D.C.
I'm sorry about all of the innappropriate shoe throwing
You know you were really drunk last night when you woke up and had someone else's jacket with their car keys and medical marijuana that you wore home from the bar and no sign of your actual jacket.
Randomize
