Your an asshole
Actually, it's "you're an asshole"
My point exactly
i actually looked down at my cock today and said "whoa buddy, you need a haircut....(grimace) and a shower"
and then he ordered a "diet and rum" like the most important part of the drink was the diet.
Bubblewrap condoms. We can steal Ziplock's new slogan. Protection you can hear.
Well he's not exactly single.. It's like an open relationship his wife doesn't know about
can you please explain how one drink turns into 5 street signs with their poles lying around my room
There is only one good excuse for how sore I am right now. And that is incredibly acrobatic sex. Unfortunately for me that is not my excuse.
its official: beach shits are the exact same as mountain shits
Maybe your new years resolution should be not to fuck in Sears bathroom anymore.
He equated my biology degree to a belief in Santa. I wonder if he heard the doors to my vagina clanging shut.
These pissing matches have to stop. They led to last night's scotch through the nose shots. I'll never smell again.
I can't name a single part of my body that isn't sore. Who says break up sex is bad sex?
How dare you not respond to me after opening up a picture of my bare breasts
Is there a reason why your pubic hair is a plastic bag on my bathroom floor? And yes I know its yours... You wrote your name on the bag
He's petting your head, we need to leave now.
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