If she didn't want me to pass out in her bathroom, then she shouldn't have such a furry rug in there
I think the universe is against us being together. Or maybe it's just god's way of telling me there is a bigger dick out there for me.
we were sitting on his couch watching tv and laughing at how funny the voices on the commercial were, then we realized the volume wasn't on.
I woke up with flowers, a tiara & pasta salad in my bed. Tequila makes me act like a fat Disney princess
Had sex with him again...yikes. and the whole time he kept saying "i wish we could do this forever." Forever lasted about 45 seconds
his finger was half off and he was more concerned that he wasnt at home shooting cucumbers out of his potato gun.
So he says to my dad "I'll pull out of your daughter but I'm not going to apologize". Yea, my night was fun.
I could go for watching some naked price is right. Looks like a good time to me.
Full disclosure. I fucked the fatty from work and shit is weird now.
As soon as I got there, you appeared out of no where, yelled "they're giving away free cigarettes!" in my face and then disappeared and I didn't see you the rest of the night.
I don't remember anything but bad decisions last night
When you wake up on the bus on 139th but you're staying at 6th
133 to go
Drunk you needs to learn how to call sober me, so sober me can talk your drunk vagina down.
Ehh, the third backed out. Two still isn't bad. Who gets a bootycall to pick them up from a bootycall's house anyways? Only me.
One sec I was having the time of my life, the next I was shitting water
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