At Coney Island the sign for the rollercoaster The Cyclone says, "Make sure your glasses and weave are secure."
I'm jammin out to some Brit Birt, she's still my bitch, I love her crazy ass
He had personality for days, but cock for only minutes
I left my toothbrush at her house. This is getting way too serious for me.
Right before he passed out, he said "Stuporman, coming in for a landing"
I've slowly been stuffing french fries down his pants. I'm at 31 and he hasn't even noticed.
I should just black out in my front yard again- that was a great nights sleep.
My ex was there, the 2 girls I'm seeing showed up and I had a pocket full of VIP passes 2 the strip club. Had all the makings of an epic night but I fell asleep at the bar.
Bro my mom is in for two days and you can't even hold back on the drinking she said as she left i hope he doesn't always pee his pants and he is sure popular with the girls wtf
I'll be visiting the rave tower. Prepare your finest boxed wines for my consumption.
My taste buds are fucked up, everything tastes like fire after last night.
It's whatever. I just want to see his dick again
I will buy you batman underwear babe. I'll make sure you wear them every time we have to adult.
No one wants to start their day off with bloody lemons and a tampon in the toilet. Wtf.
Who am I kidding? With my track record, I'm going to end up sleeping at the strip club with just nipple tassels on.
Randomize