I'm 3 blocks south of you watching drag queens.
my ass hurt today after the party last night. I wnt to the doctors and they found a coin in a ziplock bag with a note from you. WHAT THE FUCK DID U DO TO ME???
saw a man at the beach in a red speedo. when he rolled over he unintentionally displayed a HUGE skid mark.
Dude we need to petition the city about running buses later, none of my booty calls own cars
you are getting stockholm syndrome from your pubes
maybe if i keep dancing i won't throw up
look up what dreaming that you're in a lesbian relationship with a manatee means.
that's why you don't digest questionable powders from girls wearing tutus at a dirty club
heres the thing, we have 120 cans of beer left in the fridge. until thats finished we cant fit food in the fridge
My mom had to physically restrain me because I wouldn't stop acting like a dinosaur.
I just farted in the bathroom and the guy in the stall next to me started gagging. Its a beauitful day
Someone had written "Boxmonsterette" on the bathroom wall and I just knew you'd been here.
if this uncomfortable exchange we're having is you trying to flirt with me i suggest you stop it before someone gets hurt
The man who almost made us Eskimo sisters is getting married. Of course I'll be your date. We need to toast the end of his sex life!
He walked into me masturbating to a framed picture of Bill Murray riding a t-rex
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