I don't think you know how difficult it is to pee in poncho..
dude that girl has seen more cock ends then weekends
its not facebook stalking, its market reasearch
so when I got there he was dressed as jesus in a recliner drinking whiskey out of the bottle watching spanish porn. Then kept shouting dont judge me or ill judge you. we didn't even go to a halloween party.
This morning my doorman told me it was an accomplishment for me to be standing and conscious after last night.
The only comparison I have for the iPhone is that it's like youre constantly getting a blow job
I am so 35 right now. Listening to REM, drinking red wine, and crying over an article about ecstasy in oprah magazine.
please stop judging me for buying a handle of soco on a thursday at 10am. it was on sale, i'm thinking of my future.
They shoved things up my nose I feel violated
he congratulated me on my ability to grow long hair after pulling it to see if i had extensions
This is the drunkest I've ever been at a chili's
Fuck you. Leave my nipples out of this. THEY DID NOTHING TO YOU
Seeing my ex post concert Snapchat videos as an Instagram really reinforces that I made the right choice...
Babe, I'm gunna be straight with you. When you act like a dick it makes me regret not fucking my manager last week.
I love how my parents bring water bottles filled with vodka on family trips
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