wooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooo
ooooooooooooo i'm drink
so we were pounding it out and someone knocked on the wall and was shouting at us
that didnt stop you
nope
Pretending to care about her feelings is becoming a full time job
There are GROWN MEN with fake HP wands flinging curses at me in Walmart.
That's funny. Are they weird looking???
OF COURSE THEY ARE WEIRD LOOKING, THEY ARE STALKING ME IN WALMART. WITH. FAKE. WANDS.
yeah, but i heard shes schizophrenic
i wouldn't even care dude, i'd fuck her and all 7 of her personalities.
I think when she wakes up, she'll either kill me, or laugh. I hope she laughs.
he sent me a picture of his dick with a heart border around it
I got groped on the dancefloor by both grooms. I love gay weddings
Hurricane Sex Time is the only thing iv said since it started.
That was like me applying to a law school drunk at 5 am
Hahaha. That's funny.
But I got an 18k dollar per year scholarship
I am gifting my birthday sex to you, but its okay because I can always just have birthday vibrator.
It's pretty telling that my resolutions all involve who I will sleep with in 2014.
It's important to play to your strengths.
I mayyyyy have moaned a name that wasn't his
I tried to flirt with him by saying "catholics are cool" and he handed me a cup of water so i called him jesus and thanked him for the wine
I couldn't break up with him while I was wearing a Hakuna Matata shirt.
Randomize