I just need someone to hold me and tell me i dont turn boys gay
you kept lifting my skirt up, yelling "PANTY PARTY". needless to say, you're at the top of my father's shit list right now.
I'm at a party watching some dude try to eat a whole package of Oreos in 5 minutes.
My epitaph should read "Margaritas: she never learned"
Whoever decided to wrap my shins in duck tape owes me new leg hair.
We're walking, taxis are a waste of money that can be spent on alcohol.
I just want a whole pitcher of margarita and a headdress from party city and sit around and look like a fucking indian princess.
k. The important thing is we are going out. You are stones. I am mildly hallucenating.
Looking through my moms phone and find a pic if a dick. Scarred for life.
wearing the bible to the ABC party, thought you'd appreciate that.
He's passed out. He nodded his head when I asked if he's alive though...so there's that
May or may not have just put tequila in my special "kids+" orange juice fortified with vitamins a, b, c, d, e, and now t.
Congrats on graduating and I'm in a cab and need someone to helps keeping me up, do you mind
Well you could have stayed home, played house and got blow jobs all weekend babe, but we all have to live with our decision
Just threw up in a cup driving down the road because there was cop behind me and I didn't want to pull over. Not sure if winning or failing at life.
Randomize
