you may be an alcoholic when your drug dealer calls to yell at you for drinking too
Let's roleplay tonight. I'll be drunken diva and you be sexy sober.
IF that's your way of making me dd then count me out.
i love how cold weather makes identifying sluts easier. is it below freezing? is she wearing a tube top? she's easy.
The worst part of it is that he's not the first man I've fucked with 2+ chihuahua's.
U shoulda just taken her to a stall and banged her and let me watch the game. Some friend u r.
this lady just pulled corn on the cob out of her purse
People like that make this world a better place.
IT'S LIKE SHE TAKES SECRET KUNG FU CUNT LESSONS AND THEN BRUCE LEES ALL OVER EVERYONE.
you were afraid hed set himself on fire so you dumped a box of baking soda on him
I walk in and my roomie is fucking her bf while wearing lingerie and minnie mouse ears. Right in the childhood.
There is a high possibility I will pass out with my hand in a bag of Doritos
If you're going to do that you're going to need a pleather suit.
So apparently having sex with your co-worker in the bathroom at the staff party can get you fired.
finals do horrible things to a person. i haven't worn pants since friday
Question: anytime during the past week did I drunk dial you and give you full permission to grab my boobs? Cus I know I said it I just don't remember who I said it to...
Where do you think black out memories go?
Into the dark abysmal abyss of the deepest, darkest part of your mind. It's obviously the bodies natural defense to protect you from witnessing the shit you do while actually blacked out.
Randomize
