The worst thing about having a parent with a prius is that they can walk in on you without any warning
Skanksgiving break is awesome already... pilgrim and indian roleplay tonight.
his cum shot went directly into his bellybutton. felt like i was playin ski ball
I JUST MET THE GIANT MAN THAT WILL CARRY ME FROM PLACE TO PLACE
Discovered that a nalgene holds an entire bottle of wine. Going mobile. Come find me.
No teenage boy ever gets scared away from sex unless she is slipping a wedding ring on your finger or is killing your cat. I promise.
I don't know. I was hiding and the bed was banging. I am going to sleep now in someone's car.
We put your drunk ass to bed. 10 minutes later we heard you scream "DICK-PUNCH!!!" It was immediately followed by a shriek of pain and crying. So to answer your question; no, that's not "sex soreness".
On a side note...my DUI lawyer just snapchatted me. This is the exact moment in time when I realized my like IS a joke.
Should I tell this TSA agent his fly is down while he is trying to hit on this chick?
I'm using the Malibu pitcher you stole from the bar to make pancakes this morning. It's actually working really well.
I have a guy for practically everything... except for making me waffles on demand. will u be my waffle guy?
I'm at a first year old's birthday party and a midget dressed as a cop just showed up. Word is we're going to toss and bowl with him. Updates to come.
Where's the chopping off someone's balls emoji
I want a dick in my left hand and a Crunch Wrap Supreme in my right hand.
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