And he showed us your test. You wrote what is this shit and scribbled on it? Nice 3%..
What?? I'm covered in blood at the hospital, I atleast deserve a pic of someones boobs
What if we had a smart house and we could just say "baked" and it would rain donuts?
Just rolled over and found your boyfriend in bed with me. Is mine at your house?
I feel like I should lick our pitcher just so everyone knows its ours
you might as well be a hobo. you were covered in pee last night hanging out on the stairs drunk.
right. well we all have our lows.
Just had the moment before I realised I'd packed you off in an ambulance last night after funnel-feeding you Monster and vodka. Your mom thinks I'm a dick doesn't she?
Why do I only have half my beard? My chin is so naked...
Oh my god I peed in a park last night and then tried to set off fireworks with a group of middle-aged men
I just made the answer to all my security questions "fuck you" with various levels of ! marks. I may regret this in the morning.
I'm giving great sideboob & it's being wasted on my parents.
WHY ARE THERE NO BLACK EMOJIS? I CAN NEVER PROPERLY IDENTIFY MYSELF.
I think I died last night.
Yeah, you got carried home
From what I remember I had fun, until I threw up, and lost my shoes..
I think the hamburger goblin stole my cigarettes. I left my purse behind her table and they're not in it now.
Randomize
