Is it just me or are more fat girls getting belly button piercing these days?
happy early fathers day!!!
im not a father
about that...
in a basement doing blow off a prince dvd next to a chick in a saddam mask
I miss Michael Jackson so much sometimes
my mom sold the house because of the grow room the couple saw i had in the basement.
So yeah she lost her virginity in a wheel chair with a broken pelvis. I'm still trying to figure out how I should feel about that.
He did not appreciate the "you did reuse the diamond" comment when looking at his new fiance's ring.
I found a video of myself completely naked on my phone giving a drunk tutorial on how to shit properly while blindfolded. Did you record it?
I. recorded a message of me yelling at myself to "get up out of that bed" and set it an alarm. REALLY loud
What does it say about my expectations if I'm pounding three beers the hour before a date?
IS NO AN EMOTION BECAUSE THAT'S WHAT I'M FEELING RIGHT NOW
For the record you're an amazing lay and you have great taste in breakfast sandwiches
I probably shouldn't be taking relationship advice from my side piece...
Your heart isn't making stupid decisions... your penis is outsmarting your brain. Stop fucking her!
Someone puked in my crockpot. Your friends can’t come over any more.
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