Oh man I wish you'd been in the car w/ me today. I followed a school bus home filled w/ young boys and I flipped them off the entire way. They loved it.
Whoa! I think of you when I eat cottage cheese.
I feel like i'm in "To Catch a Predator - The Musical"
So all semester this guy and girl have been talking, and today is the last class and we are doing nothing. I would have skipped but I want to see if he seals the deal or pusses out. It's like a season finale.
he asked me to put his condom on because he couldn't see without his glasses
Is it bad that I was more upset about not getting the perfume he told me he had bought for me then the actual breakup?
fireball beer pong. youre missing out
how is that even possible?
ove gloves.
be there in ten.
I seriously dont think i have ever ridden a horse sober.
one of the service guys here said i licked ranch off your face lastnight
she trying to cartwheel up the stairs... not going so well
You were on the drunk bus swinging around on the pole when you decided you were hungry, so you pulled half a bagel out of your pants and ate it. Everyone stared at you, dumbfounded as to where it came from, and cheered
He tried to spell out "PROM?" in his cum on my stomach during sex. It was terrible
well did you say yes?
i just want to attach a dildo to the ceiling and ride it like a gay spiderman.
Just busted the chick who slept with my boyfriend with alcohol. God I love being an RA.
She has no problem going ass to mouth, but won't eat the pizza crust. I don't get it.
Randomize