Apparently I'm the guy that didn't get the memo that Afliction and wifebeaters were the proper attire for tonight... so I'll just sit here alone in my sweatervest and be judged.
I sat in the mc D drive thru and refused to move till the chick gave me her number
Hes sobering up now. He was just really bad for like 45 minutes. He cried while he was telling me how he pictured us eating hotdogs on the beach together..
Sign #1 that I'm not ready to be a mother: I'm shopping for "maternity fishnets".
there's just a random girl here singing about how much she loves fiber
We need to go to the store an get depends. I really don't want to be bothered with the bathroom this weekend.
lets just say that i have already today: gotten drunk, got in a fight, got stranded an hour away from home, found a ride, sobered up, and slept. woken back up, and here i am. its been a long day. Day drinking is bad for friendships.
Tell him I thought his Superman stand on your bed and cum all over your back was quite funny
Thoughts of banging the girl who just opened my beer with her teeth?
As I fucked him you stood outside my door screaming, "I'M NOT JUDGING YOU!" over and over.
I was judging you.
I worked so hard to shave everything last night. EVERYTHING. He WILL be answering my phone calls. Otherwise he's passing up awesome random birthday sex.
She just pored wine down the turkeys hole and said that she christened it like the whore that it is...happy thanksgiving.
I want to get back to junior year skinny- without all the drugs.
Let's get a hotel room this time. I really don't want to sleep in a Dennys parking lot again.
Wow you are like a taller more attractive sex Yoda.
Randomize
