you dialed the number "23" then talked to it for three minutes
Bret has after-school detention for writing Brianna has a stinky vag on the ground at recess.
hey..i found a takeout box with a half-eaten hamburger in it, the box said to text this number if found...
If youre the one that ate my brownies this morning I only have two things to say to you
Those had pot in them
And good luck on your interview asshole
They have beer in plastic boots. How am I supposed to resist that?
I've been alternating between telling people I was mauled by a bear or hit by a car to explain the massive unexplainable bruise on my leg. Slightly more worried now that the car idea is believable.
She Kept going around and squirting jello shots into guys mouths. That was her ice breaker.
I thought the cops would know I was on shrooms because I was 10ft tall.
I found a half composed text to you this morning and all it said was HELP M. Is that how I ended up at the bottom of the stairwell in only a tee-shirt and one heel?
considering I never received the text I would go with 'yes'.
I slept through 4/20 and my roommates bought an entire ham that's just sitting in the fridge...
I tried eating pop-rocks while giving him a bj, I honestly think I was more disappointed with the results than he was.
I don't like how my gyno is telling me how to live my life.
At least you didn't have a hemorroid rupture while banging
It's something you'd find in the room outside of Ben Carson's sex dungeon
My mum just told me to stop being so pathetic and just find someone to have sex with, even if I don't like them, just be grateful for the sex. Wow.
Randomize
