WIFE SWAP. FAMILY OF MIDGETS. LIFETIME. NOW.
Yeah I'm pretty sure at one point I was telling her to keep her dick in her pants. She was going to do some serious damage.
so we were having anal, both very very drunk when he started shouting his roomates name
My dad just knocked on my door and told me that my vibrator was too loud
I'm actually glad you're quitting. Now there's one less person at work who's seen me naked.
don't you miss freshman year when you could get away with "but i've never given a bj before..."
Here's the level of my committment: I'm not participating in the Olympic opening ceremonies drinking game. THIS IS SERIOUS.
Do you think I'm short enough to dress up in a ghost costume and go trick or treating and have people believe that I'm actually a child?
Look, as flattering as it is, I'm getting a little tired of being everyone's go-to girl for a threesome.
I was basically just fingering myself and thinking about space.
On the bright side, only one more day until we aren't sober anymore.
Dude what is wrong with me. I'm like a strong independent woman and shit.
Why are you naked at 4pm?
Its my birthday, I dont have to wear clothes
He accepted my bet of 5 bucks to bike home completely naked. Never got asked about the 5 bucks, guess he enjoyed it too much
He's nice and all but I think I rather masturbate my way to happiness instead.
Randomize
