oh, also, we're locked out of the house and we're going to have to take shelter with the hot, poss single, dad next door. i hope this turns into a porno
i think i'm in class. and blacked out.
I just found out the FDA voted to ban Vicodin, my last connection to this world has been destroyed
They should make Glad Forceflex condoms.
I will also inform you that stairs change when you change a house. Those hurt.
you were making out, puked over his shoulder and insisted everything was okay
i was thoroughly upset that he did not want to be my number 16, who passes that number up?
I'm gonna go out in a limb and say living out middle school fantasies is never a good idea
This is the fourth day in a row I've walked outside in the same pajamas. I think the neighbors have finally given up on judging me.
She told me her last name, which as you know is my #1 turn-off.
bought even stevens on dvd and enough weed and pizza bagels to last us a week.. ready to get snowed in?
Some girls wake up to good morning texts. I wake up to pictures of an angry Shrek getting a blowjob.
Sorry my friend with benefits tried to run you over with his car
How did I end up with the cock ring?!
He spent ten minutes post bj, limp cock still out, in shock repeating 'best blow job ever'. So yes, yelling I am the penis queen out the car window was justified.
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