i met a boy and i'm in lovvvvveeeeeeee and we're going to vegas and getting marrrrrriiiieeeeedddddd!
let's be honest with each other here, that's about the worst idea you've ever had. you need to walk this one off.
oh good, I think they're gone
the painters?
my herpes
Call me back. I want to hear your side of the dead cat in my garage story.
do you know how scary it is to wake up in a CATSCAN machine after a night of drinking?
Just calculated that for my last final tomorrow I need 120% to improve my grade and 53% to keep it..buying 30 packs now, go get dressed
I look like a herd of wild horses chewed on my back. If you bite me again while taking me from behind, I'm going to have to cut you off.
The moment that kid turns 18, I will have his sperm for all three meals.
Oh God. You're going to jail
I experienced pure joy just moments ago when I looked down and saw that I had another pop tart to consume down my mouth hole.
Fyi your toilet is not contaminated. We'd have to scissor pretty hard to pass what I got.
trying to figure out what happened last night by looking around the apartment.
naked man under the piano. THE PLOT THICKENS.
She's astronaut crazy. She will wear Depends and drive 12 hrs non-stop if you swipe right.
Challenge accepted
please tell me you're the one making all the weird noise in the yard..
Should I give the penis ring toss game to good will or garbage
Through a complicated series of events, I wound up in the desert with a blue chick from comic-con. we lost peter. if you're alive, please come get us.
One a scale of one to hella drunk, how gracefully can I make it down those stairs
Randomize
